music is my Time Machine
On Saturdays, I drive around town singing along to my Spotify playlist.
I sing badly but with passion. If I’m at a stoplight sometimes I break into a little car dance.
Every single song on my playlist is old. I’ve got disco, 60s bubblegum, 70s rock, punk, 80s pop, GOTH, new wave, ska, industrial, trip-hop, hip hop and country.
I’ve got Bauhaus, Bjork and the Beastie Boys.
I’ve got Duran Duran, Dead Can Dance and Donna Summer.
I’ve got Madness, Massive Attack and The Monkees.
I even have some RUSH.
My playlist is a total mishmosh, but every single song brings me joy. Every song transports me back to being young, free and without responsibilities.
Music is a time machine. It carries memories. With the first three chords of any song, I go back in time.
Those 90s synth pop club hits flood me with memories of dancing all night at The Limelight.
When Love Will Keep Us Together hits my playlist, I’m 7 years old, laying in the back of the family car driving home from a day at Riis Park.
When Bette Davis Eyes comes on, I can feel my mom’s presence, and have a flash of her young, and dancing at a family party. For three and a half minutes, she’s back with me.
Music reconnects me to all the parts of myself that I forget during the daily grind.
I need that time to connect with my younger self. That person I was in my teens and 20s was a very unhappy young woman. But what’s so strange to me is that even the darkest, saddest music on my playlist only brings me joy now.
Maybe it sounds crazy, but when I’m driving around grooving to say Skinny Puppy, I talk to “her”. I tell 21 year old Kate, that someday, sooner than you think, you’re going to be okay. Someday you’re actually going to be happy.
I’m not sure what depressed and nihilistic 21 year old Kate would think of 51 year Kate, driving around in her Jeep Renegade with the sunroof open belting out This Charming Man.
Younger Kate would be surprised at how things have shaken out.
You want to get in my time machine ? Here is the link to my Spotify Playlist. If you think I've missed any essential songs of the 60s-early 2000s, please drop them in the comments.
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Love,
Kate
#fearlessoverforty #mentalhealth #selfcare #genx #midlife #womeninmidlife #jukeboxtimemachine