Aging ain’t for sissies

In exactly 6 months I’ll be 52. Fifty. Fucking. Two. Years old ! It’s unreal. It’s easy to ignore. Honestly, at times it’s downright terrifying. 

As the amazing Bette Davis once said: “Old age ain't no place for sissies.” 

I’m not old…….exactly. Age is relative. To a 25 year old, I am O-L-capital D. To my 80 year old friend, Bonnie, who took me for a post hysterectomy spin in her Maserati convertible (divine, btw)  I’m “a young girl”. 

If you’re reading this, and you haven’t crossed the 40 marker yet, I’m going to hit you with some middle age realness that I wish someone had laid on me when I was 35. 

I’ll start with the bad: 

Your pubes will go gray. Or worse. WHITE. You can pluck them out but the fuckers grow back and you can’t laser them off if you're pale.

You will acquire new body aches that you didn’t think were even possible from strenuous activities such as SLEEPING. I threw my neck out blow drying my hair. #sadtrombone

If you sleep less than 7 hours, you’ll look exhausted. And people will tell you so. 

You can’t drink like you did when you were 25. You just can’t.  

You will accidentally flirt with an attractive adult person who you realize could easily be your KID.

You’ll find yourself squinting at a menu or book. Someone will suggest you get readers. You will picture yourself lighting them on fire. 

You will be ma’am-ed. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. And if someone calls you “Miss” you’ll be embarrassed by how flattered you feel.  

You will get ads on Instagram for horrible things you are in denial of ever needing. 

ALL your shoes will hurt because you abused your feet wearing the cheap shoes you could afford at 25. 

You’ll consider (if not actually purchase) Crocs. 

If you’re lucky enough to still have parents, all of a sudden (like ALL OF A SUDDEN) they are hobbling little old people. No matter what your relationship with them, your heart will break every time you see them.

If you don’t have children, you’ll delude yourself into thinking you have plenty of time because Halle Berry. And then it will occur to you that Halle Berry has a bazillion dollars to buy all the biologics necessary to have a child at 47. And you (probably) don’t. 

If you do have children you’ll be having your midlife crisis while they hit puberty. Good luck and godspeed. 

You’ll get morose and despairing over everyone your age on social media. On bad days it will feel like every single one of them has more. 

The good stuff ? There are a few:

You’re less angry. You’ve raged already. And you’ve survived enough heartbreaks, disappointments and personal injustices to know it all passes. Or maybe you’re just too tired. Or you’ve learned enough to know some fools ain’t worth fighting. 

You’ve been up close and personal with loss. How is that good ? You’re UNBREAKABLE. 

You’re less afraid of what people think of you. You can dye your hair purple because you want to and it’s not rebelling. 

You’re open to possibilities. You know that there is more than one path towards any kind of life you want. You’re just taking the scenic route. 

You’re totally cool with staying in on a Saturday night because (in your mind anyway) back in the day was SO MUCH BETTER. 

You don’t care what’s “hip” or “cool” anymore because-despite all outside evidence to the contrary-you believe YOU are hip and cool. 

You have mad respect for your body now that you're done abusing it with the follies of youth. 

You’ve detached from the things that emotionally devastated you at 25. Google that person who dumped 25 year old you. I guarantee you’ll be unimpressed. 

Your relationships are better. You’re finally clear in your needs and desires. You have plenty of practice in asking for them. 

You finally trust your gut. You squash a bad situation quickly. Or make an educated leap into happiness.  

So my love, the “bad” stuff is mostly fear of the unknown. 

And with every passing year, each mastery of the “bad”, you’ve become more and more of a fear whopping warrior.

And the good stuff has become your internal armor. 

Bettie had vaseline for the cruel camera lens, she was a tough broad. 

We have filters now, and YOU are a tough broad too. 

Just don’t use the ones that make you look like the long  lost Kardashian. 

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Love, 
Kate

#fearlessoverforty #mentalhealth #selfcare #genx #midlife #womeninmidlife